Darling Angel
by Broken2Pieces
Summary: reposted and longer at request. Wakka comforts Lulu in her final hours. this is actually the original of Lulu's departure. I wrote it first, but changed it later on. i dont own ffx


With tears in his eyes, Wakka walked aimlessly around Besaid village. There was no denying it now. Lulu was indeed dying. Yuna didn't think she'd hold out much longer, it would be a miracle if she made it through the night. He thought back to when he'd first heard Lulu was sick. She had been so calm as if she'd known she'd never reach twenty-five. He'd tried to be strong for her sake, but now he felt that strength begin to waver. _I have to tell her how I feel, _he thought, fresh tears staining his cheeks. She had seemed so strong until they'd found out the truth.

* * *

It had to have been about a year ago when she was first diagnosed with cancer. When Lulu had invited them all over to her place to talk, he'd thought nothing of it. They did that all the time, just hanging out. He'd been surprised to see her with red puffy eyes when he'd entered the home. It had been as if she'd been crying. Yuna had been by her side, but wouldn't meet anyone's gaze.

"I want you all to hear this from me." Lulu had begun, "As you all know, I've been feeling quite poorly lately. The other day Yuna and I took a trip to Bevelle Hospital to get some tests run." Lulu looked them all in the eyes before finally looking at the ground. "Well, we just got the tests back. I've been diagnosed with cancer."

Wakka felt his heart stop in his chest.

"What?" he heard himself ask after he'd found his voice. He could feel all the other's stunned glances as well.

"You'll get better, right?" Rikku asked.

Lulu gave her a warm smile. "That's the plan. I'll be starting treatments pretty soon. If we're lucky, we got it in time. While I'm in treatment, however, I'll need to live closer to the center. I'll be moving to Bevelle temporarily."

"And I'll be going with her." Yuna spoke, "I'm going to be her 'nurse' I guess you could say."

Wakka still couldn't quite grasp the meaning of the words for a long second. Lulu was sick? Impossible! Lulu didn't get sick.

"This can't be happening." he said quietly. Lulu locked his gaze.

"It will be ok, Wakka." She said, "I'll be back before you know it."

The treatments had been hard to watch at first. Lulu was sick all the time. She tried to keep it a secret, but they could all see the pain the treatment caused in her eyes. He was there the day she'd held up the chunks of her beautiful long hair, and when she'd requested it all be shaved off.

"It's a good look for you, ya?" He said, trying to cheer her up. Lulu had not cut her hair since the day Sin had taken her parents.

For a while the treatment seemed to work. They'd all celebrated when she'd been declared in 'remission.' They'd all flown back to Besaid Island in high spirits, singing and laughing all the way. Relief was written all over Lulu's face. The whole village was there to greet them. Lulu's black bandana seemed to have no place on the light that had filled her face. Life went pretty much back to normal, except that Lulu seemed to have a new love for life. He didn't know what hit her harder four months later, the cancer that returned in full force, or the realization that she'd have to go through it all again.

"Just do it just like last time, Lu." he said to her. "You'll be fine."

Lulu's gaze told him that she wasn't sure. She was scared and angry, he could see it in her eyes. Absently she stroked the new growth of hair that had grown on her head.

He'd gotten the call three weeks later from a hysterical Yuna. The cancer had spread all throughout her body.

"They're talking about in home treatments, Wakka," she'd sobbed.

He didn't understand at first. "That's great!" he said.

"No, wakka!" Yuna sobbed, "I mean like hospice treatment!"

Wakka still didn't understand, "But hospice is only for those who can no longer be helped." he said. Silence on the phone broke through his naivety, or maybe it just freed what he'd been not wanting to face.

"Yuna, are you saying Lulu's…That she's going to…?" He couldn't finish. Yuna's sobbing already said what they couldn't.

"No, they must be wrong." He said, more to himself then to Yuna, "Lulu's the strongest person I know. She can't die!"

"They've already assured us that there's nothing left to do, Wakka, besides stall the inevitable. Lulu doesn't want that. She says she'd rather die here surrounded by her friends than live on for a while longer in a strange place."

"That sure sounds like her." Wakka agreed quietly.

"We'll be home in a few days." Yuna said. "You'll tell the others for me? I don't think I could tell this twice."

"Yeah. I'll tell them." He said.

Rikku cried openly when she heard the news, while Tidus had just stared in shock like himself.

When they'd arrived, Lulu had been too weak to walk to the village on her own. Wakka helped her, but still couldn't believe for some reason why she was home. A first the in home treatment had given her some strength. It was as if she was better and the call had been some horrible dream. Then some bad days had set in. Days where she was in constant pain, days where she slept all day, and days where she was too weak to make it out of bed. It was just after one of those days when Yuna had gotten them all together and told them they should plan one more fun outing for them all together.

"She isn't going to last much longer, guys." She said, "It's time to start saying goodbye."

It was the first time Wakka had aloud himself to break down. Yuna comforted him with some tears of her own. The next day they all set out for the moonflow. It was beautiful, but bitter-sweet. The pyreflies flew around in a firestorm of light around them all as the sun set.

"It's beautiful." Yuna said quietly with tears in her eyes, but Wakka wasn't sure about the reason. She clutched tightly to Lulu's hand. Lulu looked at the scene with hungry eyes, much like Yuna had looked at places on her journey to defeat sin. Lightly he rubbed his best friend's shoulders. Lulu turned to look at him. Her eyes were sad. She laid her head back against his chest. He enveloped her in his arms and held her tightly, but he wasn't ready to say goodbye, not yet.

* * *

Lulu had gone pretty fast after that. It was as if she'd been waiting to make sure they would all be alright without her. Three days later she'd stopped breathing during the night. Yuna had revived her, but he knew it was only because she knew there were still things that had gone left unsaid, and also that he'd been procrastinating. He still was. That was the whole reason he was here right now, even though he knew that he would regret it for life if she left without hearing what he had to say.

"Wakka", A voice quietly said behind him. He turned to see Yuna. "Lu is asking for you. It's time for you to talk to her, Wakka. I can't help her this time." He gave her a nod of resignation.

Numbly he made his way to Lulu's bedside. Her sick, pale skin made her eyes appear red and puffy.

"Wakka?" she asked quietly. She said his name slowly, as if she had to concentrate upon each syllable.

"I'm here Lu" Wakka replied as he took her hand. He watched as silent tears cascaded down her face.

"I'm…so sorry Wakka. I…don't want to leave you."

"Shh," Wakka said as he carefully wiped away her tears, "Its-" he stopped in mid sentence. How could he say its ok? He would never be ok again. "Lu?" he said quietly.

"Yes?" was her quiet reply.

"I love you." He looked into her eyes. In them was a warmth he hadn't seen since she'd started to fail.

"I love you too…Wakka." She said.

Wakka felt himself lean forward and gingerly kiss her lips. "Does…it hurt?" He asked.

"No," she said, "Nothing hurts anymore."

"Are you scared?" Wakka asked.

"A little." Lulu admitted. Wakka had a sudden flashback to when he and Lulu were younger. Sin had just killed their parents. That was the only other time he knew Lulu had been afraid. He remembered how she, Chappu, and himself had clung to one another for support.

Carefully Wakka placed his arms under his sick friend and picked her up.

"I've got you." he whispered. He was suddenly aware of how light and fragile she was. "Her life's slipping right through my fingers," He thought. Slowly he walked about the room as if dancing to some song from long ago. He began to hum the hymn of the faith.

"You're…thinking about them, aren't you?" Lulu whispered.

"Yah," Wakka said, biting his lip. "I just wish I could protect you now like I did then."

"The best thing you can do now, is let me go." Lulu said.

Wakka walked back to the bed and got in, bracing his back against the wall so that Lulu rested upon his chest. He felt her shudder and take a sharp intake of breath. He watched her eyes close, then slowly open.

"Wakka…"She whispered barely audibly. She was gasping now.

"I know, Lu," He said, "Its ok. He could barely see her through his tears.

"Yuna…Watch…"

"I will," Wakka promised.

"Rikku?"

"Rikku too." He could feel Lulu's racing heart.

"Yuna!" He called. Instantly the others were there. Yuna took one look and broke down. Tidus held her sobbing form. Wakka watched as Lulu's eyes shut once again. Her breathing shallowed. Painfully it dawned on wakka that he could only feel his heart pounding in his chest. He willed his hands to find a pulse. None.

"Goodbye my darling Angel." He whispered. Carefully he laid her down on the bed. He had a job to do. Once again they needed someone to hold on to.


End file.
